ESFJs are people persons – they love people. They are warmly and enthusiastically interested in others and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and guessing their needs even before they arise. The ESFJs’ strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because they have a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves. ESFJs take their responsibilities very seriously, and are very dependable. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others.
Strength : Relating
ESFJs have a keen awareness of how people around them feel and act to maintain social harmony and kindness towards one another. They understand others, what is important to them, what they like and what they hate, and they act on it. Social relationships are very important to them. They maintain them regularly by hearing from their loved ones and will always be available for them when needed. Their comfort with others usually makes the people around them feel comfortable as well. These users listen, pay attention to people’s reactions and naturally share their feelings during discussions. By wearing their emotions on their sleeves, they facilitate emotional communication and give themselves to you as a subtle way of inviting you to do the same. Their natural empathy and consideration of human relationships makes them the pillars of groups and families, through which we know the meaning and importance of peace and love.
An immature use of this strength can cause fear of rejection or fear of not being liked. This can make the user too nice, never thinking of themselves and rarely expressing their true feelings in order to please others.
Developement Point : Understanding
ESFJs usually have no interest in seeking the truth, as this is not consistent with maintaining a warm atmosphere. For this harmony, they therefore regularly sacrifice their ability to reason with logic and objectivity. They are so anxious to maintain this intimate connection with others that they fear, from the bottom of their hearts, that the emergence of truths could hurt others and thus break the precious harmony they cherish so much. Thus, the use of pure logic is rare and is often very basic because, deep down, it doesn’t matter if it is true—as long as they comfort and keep a loved one satisfied, they already have everything they want.
In order to get rid of the universally-undesirable and hard-to-swallow character of the truth, they will regularly try to bend the truth to universally-accepted value. In other words, they will try to establish a reasoning that is false but pleases everyone.
The most serious consequences of these behaviors are on themselves: they can develop a dependence on social relationships, without which they find themselves lost. Indeed, they do not have enough confidence in their ability to reason and make decisions on their own, so they will often need the opinion of others to make decisions, especially since they will be able to take advantage of this opportunity to please someone by satisfying their need.
Aware of their weakness in logic, they are afraid that others will notice this, or even worse, that others will notice that they are wrong and thus make quick judgements about their intelligence. Thus, these users, especially since their dominant function is the most communicative of functions, will quickly let you know how angry they are at your criticism of them. They are sensitive to criticism and will quickly throw the ball back to you, sometimes with impressive violence.
This complex of logic can turn into a blessing for some ESFJs. Some will do everything to make this lack of logic perfectly conscious and thus a reference in decision-making. They will surely need time to set up their logic, but it will be perfect and with enough self-confidence that they will take part in saving the world from ignorance.
Take care of their crush like no one has ever done so that they never miss a thing. Ask them their likes and dislikes. Remember those forever. Literally the loveliest until they see someone hurting their crush and become the scariest people on earth. Their crush suddenly realizes their care wasn’t just politeness. Often showering you with compliments.
ESFJs need someone who appreciates their caring and optimistic approach to life and is openly grateful in return. Someone who is passionate and willing to share their interests and deep values with them, while knowing what they want. Someone who is capable and comfortable making decisions for the both of them.
Once in a relationship, ESFJs anticipate all their partner’s needs. Ready to do anything to make their partner happy and appreciated, sometimes at the cost of their own needs. Create and maintain habits out of things their partner love, as they know their partner’s preferences for everything. Bring positivity and energy into their daily life so that the good side of life becomes reason enough to never stop pursuing your goals.
Sources : Birdy, Personalitypage
If they have chosen you, don't confuse their shyness with a lack of deep feelings for you. Care very much about how they feel in the relationship and seek to break away from routine to make the spark between the two of you eternal by looking for new experiences to live and adventures to pursue. Highly sensitive and romantic, they dream of a future with you at their side, far from the rest, their own paradise.